AAARRRRGGGGGGGGG

So pissed right now.  I got into a discussion with my S.O.  A little background first: my S.O. has some self esteem issues.  Quite frankly, my S.O. does not believe they are attractive, something that I (and many others) heartily disagree with.

So we got into a discussion, which I used to try and compliment my S.O.'s appearance.  Slip in a little about how attractive I find them.  I do this a lot.  I spend a lot of time telling my S.O. how attractive I find them.  All I get is "if you say so" or some other dismisal.  Usually it ends up with them all but calling me a liar.

Now, as those who know me know, I'm into costumes.  I like cosplay, and I like dress up.  So it really shouldn't be a surprise that I like sexy dress up/costumes.  They turn me on.  My S.O. knows this.  Yet, if in the course of my complimenting my S.O., should I mention how I'd love to see them dressed up in a certain way, there is a good chance that I'll end up getting jumped on because I don't find my S.O.'s everyday clothes sexy.  My S.O. wears jeans and a tshirt for everyday outfit.  Now, this is fine with me.  That is who they are, and I've told my S.O. repeatedly that I don't want them to change that for me.  My S.O. tells me that they wear nicer jeans and tshirts, more tight and formfitting, for me.  And that it hurts that I don't find them "sexy".  And that my S.O. feels like they'd have to dress like a hooker for me to find sexy.  Now, first off, if I wanted someone who dressed like that I'd be dating someone who dressed like that.  I'm dating my S.O. who wears jeans and tshirts.  Secondly, jeans and tshirts are casual wear.  Not really that sexy.  Which, as I said, is fine.  Sexy should be something special, a treat enjoyed once in a while.  Christmas is magical because it only happens once a year.  Lastly, and again I've told my S.O. this, when my S.O. was dressed for their brother's wedding I found them extremely sexy and attractive.  My S.O. was dressed in formal wear, and it was very visually exciting.  It was certainly something someone could wear in public.  But was it something for everyday?  Absolutely not.  Was it trashy or skanky?  Not in the least.  It was elegant, and it stil made me want to do quite a few things to my S.O.

But still, no matter what I say or what I do, I always end up the bad guy.  And I'm really getting tired of it.